hide-n-(sensory)-seeking

Today, while we sip our coffee, go to work, make dinner, give kids baths, and otherwise move through our day, somewhere there is a woman who just found out that she is having a miscarriage. More than one woman today is going to rush to a doctors office or have an ultrasound reveal that the baby she already loves, doesn't have a heartbeat. There are women in NICUs with tears streaming because their baby's fight for life is finished. And somewhere else, another mother is weeping because her precious baby who she rocked to sleep did not wake up today. Today is for them, and their precious little ones. October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I do not know what it feels like to stand over a crib in the NICU, and pray that today is not my child's last. Nor do I know how it feels to have a baby that I have hugged, nursed, and breathed in that unmistakable baby smell suddenly be gone from my life, in an instant. My heart hurts for these mommies and...

This week seemed heavier somehow, than the ones proceeding it. And when I thought back and tried to find a word to describe that weight, the only one that felt right was... waiting . It's what I have been doing the most of.  Waiting for packages to arrive to move forward with projects and plans. Waiting for key electronics to reset and start working properly so that I can move forward with projects and plans. Waiting for our chickens, now five months old to start laying eggs, any time now. This pic of Butterball is actually several weeks old now, her comb and waddle are getting bright red and growing out nicely, just wasn't able to get any good chicken pics this week. But some things I'm waiting for are heavier, more draining.  Waiting for my mind to stop thinking at night so I can finally drift off to sleep.  Waiting, even when I'm sleeping for the sound of Kit's voice in the middle of the night, "I want Mama...

This week Kit went home with Auntie on Monday and spent two nights with her. She has been so excited to go and she asks so sweetly every time Auntie comes for a visit. And I love that she gets some quiet time there.  Things here at home are very busy and usually fairly noisy, and we have regularly noticed how much calmer and more organized Kit is when the big kids are gone for a bit. We cannot change the fact that she has busy, often bossy siblings that are often a source of frustration and sometimes even anxiety for her, but she can periodically retreat to the quiet of Auntie's house now and again.   While she was gone, we went swimming like usual on Tuesday, but it felt most unusual without her.  We had fun though, especially the big kids who got much more Mommy and Daddy time, and especially loved the extra wrestling with Daddy time.  The big kids each worked on language skills. Zak started a new program aimed at helping middle-schoolers become wel...

Scene: Zak is making a sandwich. I happen to be sitting at the table working on a project. We have not really been conversing, definitely an oddity around here. But apparently he was busy contemplating... Zak: (putting cheese on his sandwich) We can't make a single non-perishable food item, but bees have been doing it for thousands of years. (Long pause, puts the cheese away. Gets out milk, starts pouring a glass.) We think we're the smartest creatures in the whole world. But, I mean, put opposable thumbs on dogs, and just see what would happen. Hard to argue with his logic sometimes. :)

Finally got these cheat sheets done! The math ones are to help Grace with the concepts and math vocabulary that she often forgets or gets confused by. The grammar ones are for both the big kids. While I'm not a grammar Nazi (I don't care if they never now what a participle is, I had to look it up even though I use them all the time), I do want them to know and properly use the basics. This means the major parts of speech, punctuation, capitalization, complete sentences, and probably a few other things along the way as well. But I believe that solid reading skills are the foundation for good writing skills, so we focus much more of our energies and time on reading rather than developing formal writing.  Anyhoo, for those who were interested, here they are. Side 1 Addition, Side 2 Subtraction Side 1 Angles and Shapes, Side 2 Math Concepts Grace still struggles with the order of the months and especially their abbreviations. ...

The last two weeks around here have been so busy going here or there, or having extra kids, that a lot of our weekly reading time got crowded out a bit. Several books also got returned to the library before I remembered to take pictures. Oh well. My kids tend to reread so many books anyway that I'll likely get another shot at it in a few weeks or so. Here is a few I did capture however: My T Sound Box was a big hit with Kit! It was packed with cute pictures and a ton of t-words. The Tiger with the loose tooth was her favorite.  This one has beautiful illustrations, I could look at these pictures over and over with the bright colors and sweet expressions. And up until the last few pages the story was good too. But it fell flat in the very end. It honestly felt like the author ran out of room and just wrapped it up as quick as possible instead of reworking it to make Little Raccoon's character grow more smoothly. But, otherwise, it's rea...

The truth in that statement is profound. And more of us parents need to start making it a core part of our inner dialog. In fact, parent or not, more of us humans need to start channeling this into our inner voice. Yet how  we execute it is integral to it's truth. It is not an excuse for every time we drop the ball, and especially not when we really mess up. Nor is it justification to treat others (including our kids) however we want. It is not a free pass either. Rest assured our choices will come home to roost. Rather it is a way to check our relationship pulse. To make daily self-checks and make needed adjustments. Permission to forgive ourselves, our children, our mate, or a friend and then take a deep breath and try again. Many adults, including some parents, have the expectation that people, (especially children) "should know better". This is not entirely unjustified.  I have this expectation of my various children for various things. I have, jus...