hide-n-(sensory)-seeking

The only thing that could have made the first day of December better would have been waking up to a layer of snow instead of frost. I sat out on my porch swing with my coffee for over an hour just reveling in the cold. The girls had a barefoot race across the yard, in which Kit wore socks because obviously, that's what you do in a barefoot race. Don't question Kit's logic, you'll lose. Our one day of winter went well. I got some good research and writing done and committed to a 500 word a day writing challenge for the month. I may come to regret the last one. Kit made me hot chocolate, mainly so she could guarantee she got to make herself some too, but it was fantastic.  Speaking of Kit, she's 9 now. Yeah, four years of not blogging and now she's as old as Zak was when I first started blogging! She's doing amazing. I plan to write an update post for each of the kids, but in the meantime, I'll give you the highlights. Kit has made so much prog...

A brief post about how well Kitty Bitty is doing.  Since Winston the Servicedoodle joined our family, we have seen some miraculous changes from our sweet girl! The biggest have happened in the last three weeks. One, she is now sleeping on the bottom bunk!! Not in our room!! I cannot even begin to explain how huge this is. Number two has to do with number two, and number one, as in she is out of diapers during the day!!! It took us until four and three-quarters, but hip hip hooray! She is a potty master! Mostly, she still has the occasional accident. I don't care, I'm so proud of her!! She is learning to use Winston for many things, and her desire to socially interact has exploded! She regularly talks to and plays with the other kids at the Kingdom Hall before and after our weekly bible meetings. When we have had company over, or been to events or other's homes, she engages so much sooner and her conversations are so much more natural, instead of short, gru...

I found these two articles a few months back, and they were really really helpful in validating some of what I already knew about my kiddos, as well as reinforcing the path we were on with them. And they turned some new lights on for me as well. Just like it's important to know our child's best learning style, we should also get to know how they best understand rules. This may seem straightforward, and in many ways it is. Rules are rules right?  But when working (and especially, living) with individuals on the Autism Spectrum, rules and rule following can get a little bit more complicated. For example we have some hard and fast rules in areas where many families probably get by with fairly simple reminders. Such as? Here are a few of areas I never envisioned having to "lay down the law" in: You WILL shower at minimum on Tuesdays and Saturdays, no later than 4:30 pm. (Zak still pushes this rule nearly every week! Just this past Tuesday, he ended up owin...

Erin Clemens is a remarkable young woman whom I've gotten to know a little bit through an Autism support network as well as her blog . Erin found out she had Asperger's in her teenage years. According to her writing, she would have much preferred  to find out even younger. She had many of struggles growing up, but determination, learning to listen to her own body signals and feelings, and a supportive family have helped her find much success as well. In her writings, and I'm sure in person as well, she is frank and open about how becoming familiar with her Asperger's has contributed to her struggles and her triumphs. Erin is certainly a unique individual, but she is one of many who is leading a successful, fulfilling, though not quite challenge-free life as an adult on the Autism Spectrum. But then, do any of us really have a challenge-free life?  One of her biggest passions is to help educate others about Autism, and supporting those on the spectrum. ...

Here is how to turn a child's perspective from I can't  to I can! While children and adults on the Autism Spectrum certainly need solid and as wide as possible "I can" networks, it's important to remember that every  child and even adults need to be encouraged, sometimes even nudged a bit toward a spirit of capability. Never underestimate the value that your skills, wisdom, or talents can bring to another person's journey or experience. And yes, you have something  to offer. It's usually the simple things that are the most memorable and often make the biggest difference. And our time and attention are two of the most precious gifts we can ever give another person.  Can you become another thread in someone else's support web? Can you play a few games with a child to help them practice taking turns and see someone modeling good sportsmanship? Do you know how to cook or bake? Sew? Oil a bike chain? Enjoy animals? Hiking? Changing...

A year ago I sat in my living room with a team from Early Intervention trying to explain my concerns for my then 18-month old. One of the things I expressed several times was that I was especially concerned about her regular disinterest in play. They seemed to not quite understand what I meant. Especially since she seemed plenty interested, even borderline obsessive about a couple of the toys they had brought to use in their analysis. It was challenging for me to explain. It still is. As an infant, she had intense interest in only about three particular toys, for months. After that, she had no interest in playing with toys at all. The only things she would hold, examine, and of course chew on were not technically toys. They were usually household items, and her favorites were the metal lids from jars (the start of her love for circles?), her baby hair brush, and toilet paper rolls. This is not surprising to me now that I better understand her sensory seeking tendencies. The metal...

I love Jacob's story, not just because he is amazing and appreciates his autism, but because his parents didn't try to change him to fit their ideas of who he should be. They took notice of what engaged him and embraced it, using his interests to connect with him, and allow him to feel safe and confident in himself. I admire them for this. And this is the gift we try to give our kids. Acceptance and complete support. My son has not displayed a genius talent for math or astrophysics, nor do I have any expectation that he will. But when I watched Jacob for the first time, I was almost unsettled at how many similarities I observed between him and Zak. Then it made me smile a lot, and cry a little, because I felt reaffirmation that we are on the right track as a family. While their passions are focused on different things, the excitement with which they both talk about what they love is so similar. The knowledge and interests ahead of their years paired with such innoc...

April is Autism Awareness Month My request this month is for people to turn off what they think they know about Autism and Autistic individuals, and rather, get to know them as individuals. It's good to be aware of  someone's challenges due to Autism, but take notice of the things that make that person human. Try to look at the world through their eyes, hear it with their ears, feel it through their skin. You may find it a whole lot more beautiful, but much more scary, and sometimes unkind as well. The next time you see a child screaming or not cooperating and an exasperated parent, or an adult who seems to never want to look you in the eyes and seems to take a while to get their words out, or the teenager who seems like a loner...let your first thought be "I wonder what their struggle is? I wonder if this might be hard for them? I wonder if I could make them more comfortable?"     Never underestimate these kids. These adults. These individuals. ...

It's true. There is a lot of yelling that happens around here. Yes, sometimes it's the result of grouchy people annoying or aggravating other grouchy people. Other times it's because all my gentle pleas have fallen on deaf ears and I've lost my cool. Again. Not my proudest parenting moments. But many times, so many times, it has a happy, silly, or hysterical wave that carries our voices to the crest of literally shouting with glee. By us I mostly mean them, as in the kids. Because that is usually the case. A lot of times it feels like that is the default volume of my children as well, regardless of their mood. They are just loud all the time. A great majority of it anyway. Victor and I can regularly be heard throughout the day issuing reminders to "talk quieter", "turn your volume down", "please speak softer". They do, for the remainder of that sentence or request.  Then the next time they open up to speak, our ears ar...

I'm very happy about this mess! I'm happy because it meant she was doing this... Playing with her toys! The way they are meant to be played with, mostly! She still loves her beloved circles most and loves to stack them and line them up and organize the rest by color! But now... She is finally interested in other things as well! Like nesting her buckets. A very age appropriate activity, even if she insists on separating them by color. More circles. But... She loves to play with the dishes now. ALL the dishes, not just the lids. She pretends to cook! And serve! And eat! She still loves to line things up and count them. But now she's also willing to... Match pairs instead of only lining them up! She is a little less frustrated when things don't go exactly her way, like when the train tracks come apart.  She still loves to sort thi...

I used to dread asking Zak to vacuum. It wasn't only that he tended to miss a lot. This I expect, and can tolerate as he learns. But rather it was the noise that drove us all up the wall. Not the sound of the vacuum, which is loud enough mind you. But the entire time that the thing was running, Zak would be singing or talking as loudly as he could in a chipmunk voice.  The entire time!! Then when summer hit. I noticed that he did the same thing when the mower was running as he cut the grass. Hmmmm... I at first had thought that, being the seeker he is, he was trying to fill some sensory need.  But as I observed him, I noticed more of a pattern. So then I recorded him and began to study his behavior closer. I then remembered something I had read and went back to look up more info on it. And found confirmation of my suspicions.  He is actually extremely oversensitive to very loud sounds and he was attempting to cope by trying to make enou...

A year ago today, I nervously hit the publish button for the first time. I don't know if my writing here has helped anyone else out there, but being able to organize the events of the past year and sharing them here has helped me. At the very least, I hope that some of you out there have been able to glimpse into our chaos from time to time and maybe feel like you're not the only ones! I honestly did not expect things to be this hard this year. I expected lots of challenges. But a year ago, I felt invigorated, ready to work for my children and my family. I still work. Very hard for them. But the events and stresses of this year truly have drained me of every sort of energy. I feel like my fire has snuffed to a barely glowing ember. It's still there, but it's harder to get it sparking again. It has been literally an avalanche of stress. With the hits getting heavier and harder as the year progressed, and my ability to block the punches, weaker and weaker. Yet, life ...

So way back in April, in this nearly-never-ending-post I mentioned that Kit used to hum and sing a lot. Pretty much every day, until she just sort of stopped. That was...sadder than sad. But! She seems to enjoy surprising us. So, just in the last couple of days, guess what I've been hearing? A lot of this:   And by a lot, I mean all throughout the days and evenings. When she's walking, jumping, spinning, eating, playing, or laying, she's all the while humming or outright singing! She obviously understands what she's saying even if we don't! It's crazy ADORABLE! And I am ridiculously excited to have my Music Major back at the pipes!!

"How many signs do you think she knows now? A couple dozen?"   A good friend asked when we finally were able to get together after several months of crazy summertime life.   "Probably close to two hundred, if not more, actually."   Wow! Even I am astounded by her amazing capacity to see and remember so many signs. Even when she can't yet fully perform them.   Long before she lost her spoken words, I had taught her several basic signs. More, please, eat, all done.   Right about the time that it was clear that her words were not making their way back of their own accord just yet, my sister loaned us a baby sign language video.   It quickly became Kit's favorite, and though it took her several weeks to start to use the signs herself, when we used them, she clearly understood and would smile in agreement, or shake her head if it was not to her liking.   To my grateful surprise, our local library also had both seasons of...

"More."   This is the first sign I have taught all my children, including ones who weren't mine, but spent time in my care.   This sign is a priceless tool to a baby. It is one of the most powerful gifts a parent or caregiver can bestow. Especially, since babies develop control of thier hands much earlier than the numerous muscles required for speech. But their minds develop even earlier! They can understand even sooner.   That one little word lays a foundation for back and forth conversation. Reduces both the child's as well as the caregiver's frustration. And it teaches the child that there is a way to communicate that allows him/her to remain more in control emotionally. This is very important because no one really likes to feel out of control.   °°°   Have you ever lost your voice? Did it make you feel somewhat insecure? Or even occasionally panicky?   Likely, you were able to make your needs known through writing, texting, or ...

    This, is my baby girl.             She's getting bigger everyday, but we still call her Baby.   She's, amazing!     She loves animals...       Petting a horsey for the first time.     She can climb on practically anything, the more precarious the better!           She loves dolls, and is a very good little mama...             As long as they don't wear any clothes.               She has the wispiest curls ever!           She LOVES water! She can literally play in it for hours.        That makes her a very good helper with the dishes!     She also LOVES to play outside! Swinging is her favorite, but sliding and digging for burie...