hide-n-(sensory)-seeking

The thunder is rumbling outside. It's a good description of what's going on inside my head, and stomach as well. All of my thoughts are swirling like those storm clouds. Slamming into each other and sending pulses through my consciousness like bolts of electricity. And then settling into a rumble until the next wave of anxiety crashes into my heart again. Kit's evaluation is tomorrow (of course you're reading this today, so it's today). I am really uneasy. I'm anxious. I'm scared. I am so afraid of another person looking at me like I'm crazy or "over-concerned". I cringe at the thought of hearing the words "she's just a baby, let's wait and see"... again. My stomach turns at the thought that these women could potentially leave my home tomorrow knowing full well that my baby has real, evident issues, but not enough to qualify for their help. How much worse does she have to get before she gets better?! My tea...

Stack.   Knock it down.   Stack.   Knock it down.   Over and over and over.   At least she's happy when it falls down. Some kids cry or throw major fits. She saves that for when I take my phone away from her. Or diaper changes, during which I sometimes will let her watch a video on my phone just so that she will let me get her clean and a new diaper put on, but which just results in a massive meltdown when I have to inevitably...take the phone away from her. Oh, and see the canister with a blue lid and slightly different shape than the rest by her leg in the second picture? That is the poor rejected off-brand can. She wouldn't use it on her stack. Even when I would hand it to her, she put it on once, then took it immediately off and tossed it. Every other time it was offered, she would shake her head vigorously and push it away. (Sorry about the fuzzy pics, it's hard to catch good shots of her sometimes, she moves so fast!) ...

First off, I have to share these adorable pictures! A few nights ago Kit was having an especially hard evening. She was over-tired, over-stimulated, brokenhearted that the kids had abandoned her to go to bed, really just one big, cranky, teary mess. So Daddy strapped on her sandals (which totally complemented her pjs), and took her outside for a change of scenery and some swinging time. It was the perfect cure! She  was much happier right away and after a little while she nodded off. What a clever Daddy!                Then Sunday he took her out to play while the kids and I tried to whip the house back into shape, but her early morning caught up with her. We may need to get another one of these for inside the house!     She never lets go, and didn't even drop her strawberry :) Okay, on Friday, I explained Zak's diagnosis , and I'm back now to explain what it has to do with Kit.   ...