hide-n-(sensory)-seeking

    This, is my baby girl.             She's getting bigger everyday, but we still call her Baby.   She's, amazing!     She loves animals...       Petting a horsey for the first time.     She can climb on practically anything, the more precarious the better!           She loves dolls, and is a very good little mama...             As long as they don't wear any clothes.               She has the wispiest curls ever!           She LOVES water! She can literally play in it for hours.        That makes her a very good helper with the dishes!     She also LOVES to play outside! Swinging is her favorite, but sliding and digging for burie...

The thunder is rumbling outside. It's a good description of what's going on inside my head, and stomach as well. All of my thoughts are swirling like those storm clouds. Slamming into each other and sending pulses through my consciousness like bolts of electricity. And then settling into a rumble until the next wave of anxiety crashes into my heart again. Kit's evaluation is tomorrow (of course you're reading this today, so it's today). I am really uneasy. I'm anxious. I'm scared. I am so afraid of another person looking at me like I'm crazy or "over-concerned". I cringe at the thought of hearing the words "she's just a baby, let's wait and see"... again. My stomach turns at the thought that these women could potentially leave my home tomorrow knowing full well that my baby has real, evident issues, but not enough to qualify for their help. How much worse does she have to get before she gets better?! My tea...

I'm sorry for kind of disappearing for a few days. It has been a busy, and at times overwhelming couple of weeks. I think I will be able to get back to my regular weekly features starting next week, but today I'll share what kind of derailed me, but at the same time got us going in the right direction. And to my family and friends, please don't be angry with me for not telling each of you in person, I've barely had energy to function. I certainly don't mean anything ill-spirited. By sharing it here, I can give everyone a much more thorough explanation one time, rather than a hit-and-miss explanation twenty plus times.   ***       Approximately eight or nine months ago, I was busy filling out every symptom questionnaire I could find on everything from ADHD, to Giftedness, to Autism, and finally Sensory Processing Disorder. It was this last category that with question after question I saw my children of concern ...

Yesterday, I suddenly saw springtime. As I drove, it was everywhere. The grass was green! Azaleas were blooming everywhere! Buds all over the trees! Life was literally bursting forth in every direction. And so was my heart! It was also springtime in my heart! I finally exhaled a breath of relief that I have been holding for years! Our visit with Dr. N was truly a consolation. While Zak worked on his math in the waiting area, I sat on the edge of her couch and poured out my worries. Only a trickle at first (is she going to think I'm paranoid, obsessed, crazy?), then the more she asked questions and nodded with understanding, the less crazy I felt, the more relaxed I got, and at some point, I felt it. The blossom of hope opening just the slightest bit. She knew what SPD was. She was very familiar with it's symptoms. She clearly connected how certain activities open up pathways for Zak's mind to accomplish what he is so very capable of. She didn't jump to a...