hide-n-(sensory)-seeking

I have multiple things I'm working on and attempting to get out of my head and into posts, but this is slow going and often interrupted. I am deep in the midst of Burnout. Have been, to a greater or lesser degree, for the last two years in fact, but this time feels worse than the others. It's much slower digging out, and the hole feels much deeper this time, but I'm slogging away at it nevertheless. One of the things I have been wanting to do is to re-post some of my older posts. I know not everyone has the time, energy, or desire to read through two years of archive posts. So I will, over the next few weeks, re-share some of my favorites. Reading back over these, it's amazing both how close and far away these days feel. We've made much progress in so many areas. Others were better back then, but prove challenging right now. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy reminiscing with me. The following piece was originally posted September 30, 2013, while we were still primari...

A brain divided cannot stand. Quite literally, in fact. When connections and synapses in the brain are not communicating well, one can have great difficulty with both simple and complex motor tasks. But it can affect much more than just that. The ability to perform multi-step actions, to interpret information received from the senses, to use more than one sense at once, and one of the most noticeable, the ability to execute speech. One of the most obvious examples of this is when an individual suffers a stroke or brain aneurysm. It is part of what can cause asymmetrical paralysis. And occupational therapy helps to not only retrain the muscles, but also to reteach the brain how to communicate with itself. This is the roll occupational therapy is playing for Kit as well. We are teaching her brain to communicate better with itself, and with her body. While many of her motor skills are actually quite advanced, there are many other areas that connections are lacking or need ...

I'm trying very hard to find the silver lining in my baby not napping. She still desperately needs one. Her mind and body are completely dysregulated. She's litterally fighting a battle inside her body. When she can't nap, the entire afternoon and evening feels hijacked. Nothing happens the way its supposed to. None of our goals for the day get met. She doesn't get happier and calmer, but rather continuously more tightly wound, more oversensitive, and looses not only all emotional control but her words and ability to verbalize her needs as well. Yesterday, the entire afternoon and evening I spent either trying to get her to sleep, or engaging her in soothing activities trying to prepare her body and settle her brain to be receptive to sleep later. She had a terrible time falling asleep last night. And she woke up at least five times in the first three hours of the night after she  fell asleep. The big kids need my help and attention, but they can't get it when...

Ever since our youngest was born, sleep has been one of our biggest challenges. After months and months of two steps forward one step back, and trial and error (oy, lots of error!), we can finally say we are making some progress. Baby and Daddy still sleep on the couch. Every night though, for about a month, Daddy gets her corner ready just how she likes it. Then she cries because she doesn't want to be apart from Mommy. But then he says its time for a story... She quiets down, settles in and waits. Then, every night, Daddy tells her a story using signs. They are usually about a baby, and a daddy, and going outside. And when Daddy forgets a sign or doesn't know one, he asks her...and she always knows, and shows him. She listens, she smiles, and she signs along. When they finish, Daddy says a prayer with her, lays her down, and covers her with her weighted blanket. And for the first time in her life, she falls asleep by herself, without nursing, being held...

Sleep.   More specifically, the lack of it.   Some of you may have noticed that my frequency in posting has dwindled in the last couple of months. To a complete stand still over the last few weeks.   I have about a million and one things I wish to write about, but my brain simply refuses to function without the minimal requirement of sleep. And that, up until the last couple of weeks, was not something that I was attaining.   Not.   Even.   Close.   Yes, after weeks of work to get Kit used to sleeping in her bed for large portions of the night, we had finally all been settling down and snoozing happily (mostly) in our own places.   Then her molars started coming in. And are still coming.   It took over two weeks of her waking nearly every twenty minutes (on the worst nights), and being squirmy and restless when she was asleep, and wanting to nurse (pacify) from the moment I lay down to the hour she final...