hide-n-(sensory)-seeking

I found these two articles a few months back, and they were really really helpful in validating some of what I already knew about my kiddos, as well as reinforcing the path we were on with them. And they turned some new lights on for me as well. Just like it's important to know our child's best learning style, we should also get to know how they best understand rules. This may seem straightforward, and in many ways it is. Rules are rules right?  But when working (and especially, living) with individuals on the Autism Spectrum, rules and rule following can get a little bit more complicated. For example we have some hard and fast rules in areas where many families probably get by with fairly simple reminders. Such as? Here are a few of areas I never envisioned having to "lay down the law" in: You WILL shower at minimum on Tuesdays and Saturdays, no later than 4:30 pm. (Zak still pushes this rule nearly every week! Just this past Tuesday, he ended up owin...

I'm trying very hard to find the silver lining in my baby not napping. She still desperately needs one. Her mind and body are completely dysregulated. She's litterally fighting a battle inside her body. When she can't nap, the entire afternoon and evening feels hijacked. Nothing happens the way its supposed to. None of our goals for the day get met. She doesn't get happier and calmer, but rather continuously more tightly wound, more oversensitive, and looses not only all emotional control but her words and ability to verbalize her needs as well. Yesterday, the entire afternoon and evening I spent either trying to get her to sleep, or engaging her in soothing activities trying to prepare her body and settle her brain to be receptive to sleep later. She had a terrible time falling asleep last night. And she woke up at least five times in the first three hours of the night after she  fell asleep. The big kids need my help and attention, but they can't get it when...

When I  look at my baby girl, I see a crazy, adorable, busy, growing, affectionate, smart, funny little girl. Other people can see that, too. She is a whirlwind toddler that does very toddler-y things, like throwing things, whining, fighting with her siblings,  playing with toys, and sharing her snacks with the dog.  But what you can't see is how much work has gone into teaching her body and brain to do many things that other toddlers "just know" how to do. Like how to "play" with toys. Or tolerate clothes. Or sleep with a blanket. What doesn't "show" is how overwhelmed she gets by being in new places or around a lot of people all talking and laughing. She seems fine. But all of those people don't come home with us.  They don't have to physically wrestle her into her car seat as she screams because she wants to run in circles longer. They don't see the bite marks on her hand from her chewing on it. And they don't hear ...

A year ago today, I nervously hit the publish button for the first time. I don't know if my writing here has helped anyone else out there, but being able to organize the events of the past year and sharing them here has helped me. At the very least, I hope that some of you out there have been able to glimpse into our chaos from time to time and maybe feel like you're not the only ones! I honestly did not expect things to be this hard this year. I expected lots of challenges. But a year ago, I felt invigorated, ready to work for my children and my family. I still work. Very hard for them. But the events and stresses of this year truly have drained me of every sort of energy. I feel like my fire has snuffed to a barely glowing ember. It's still there, but it's harder to get it sparking again. It has been literally an avalanche of stress. With the hits getting heavier and harder as the year progressed, and my ability to block the punches, weaker and weaker. Yet, life ...

There is an intersection where reading, and researching, and attempting, and, tweaking, and innovating, and failing all sputter out, and you find yourself just waiting. This can be a seriously annoying and anxiety inducing time. Kind of like when you've been on a long drive and the baby is asleep, but as soon as you stop at that first red light, you are overcome with anxiety because the change in movement and sound is likely going to wake the baby who can't wake up because you're not there yet!! On the flip side, it can also be really refreshing. Like when the kids all fall asleep on a car trip, and the only sounds are those of music or adult conversation, and while you know that it's temporary and they will soon wake up and create chaos once again, right here and now in this moment all you have to do is drive. We are in that place. We are currently waiting. For several things. For evaluations, on waiting lists, for cooler weather, for answers, for therapy, for call...

Welcome to Wordy Wednesday! Todays subject: PERTINACIOUS I found this word while I was searching for a better word to describe a particular characteristic of Grace's. Because stubborn just didn't seem to cut it. And lo and behold, I stumbled upon this gem of obscure English adjectives. Definition: (via dictionary.com) pertinacious[ pur-tn-ey-shuhs ] adjective 1. holding tenaciously to a purpose, course of action, or opinion; resolute. 2. stubborn or obstinate. 3. extremely or objectionably persistent: a pertinacious salesman from whom I could not escape. That could very well simply read Grace, Grace, Grace. That's not to say at all that she isn't charming, and sweet, and thoughtful, because she most certainly is. But, she is also, sometimes more often than we appreciate, pertinacious. Let's face it. Artsy people can be very moody people. Notice, I'm not saying that ALL are, just that some, even perhaps many, can certainly be...passionate. Well we a...

For those of you who are unfamiliar with Dr. Temple Grandin, this is you chance to learn more about one of the most outspoken advocates of autism. Born severely autistic herself at a time when autism was completely misunderstood and mistreated, she overcame, persevered, and has become an inspiration to many families. Several years ago, a feature film was made about her early life and how she used her determination and unique abilities to carve out her own special place in the world. The film, called Temple Grandin, starring Claire Danes, followed her life closely and presets her challenges authentically. I found it very interesting and thought provoking. Below is a special from the BBC about her. I hope it helps to provide insight into the positives of being on the spectrum.  

 Welcome to Wordy Wednesday!   Todays subject:   MIND-BLINDNESS   This video explains this aspect of Asperger's much better than I can.   Zak certainly displays some difficulties with this, but not as intensely in some areas as in others. he is very capable of being empathetic. Many times spontaneously, especially in regard to animals. Other times he needs to be reminded or have someone's feelings or reaction explained. When helped to reason through a situation, he makes empathetic choices with ease. But it will take continued practice before he regularly does this without assistance or prompting.  

Welcome to Wordy Wednesday!   Todays subject:   FUN QUOTES!     I seriously don't know how I would make it through some of my days without a hefty dose of humor. I like sweet, tug-at-your-heartstrings quotes and sayings. But I prefer to laugh rather than cry (though I still do plenty of crying), and I love a good tongue-in-cheek quip with a dash of sarcasm.     So here are a few things I've found over the last few weeks that have made me smile, or even laugh out loud. Some are about Asperger's/Autism, some are about parenting, and some are just funny!            (Italics are excerpts from the source article)   Read the full interview here .   Rudy Simone, a San Francisco singer, writer and stand-up comic, didn’t learn that she was on the autism spectrum until her mid-40s. Simone has Asperger syndrome .   To help make up for the lack of resources availab...

Throughout my relatively short experience of parenting, I have tried out a great many different techniques to try to foster responsibility, motivation, reward, and self-sufficiency. There were some that worked very well. For a while. Then the kids either grew out of a method, or grew used to it and unmotivated.   We have a big family, compared to the average family of three or four. And we live in a cozy, yet small house. But I am out numbered and am in constant demand. Which, I suppose is a complement of sorts. Nevertheless, exhausting.   Even if my children attended public school, I would still likely be behind in everything, since Kit demands my whole attention nearly the entire time she is awake. Occasionally, she will get distracted enough playing with the kids that I might be able to whip up something to eat or use the bathroom unaccompanied. I get the majority of things done when Victor is home and puts her to sleep, takes her for a walk, or takes her to pl...

The thunder is rumbling outside. It's a good description of what's going on inside my head, and stomach as well. All of my thoughts are swirling like those storm clouds. Slamming into each other and sending pulses through my consciousness like bolts of electricity. And then settling into a rumble until the next wave of anxiety crashes into my heart again. Kit's evaluation is tomorrow (of course you're reading this today, so it's today). I am really uneasy. I'm anxious. I'm scared. I am so afraid of another person looking at me like I'm crazy or "over-concerned". I cringe at the thought of hearing the words "she's just a baby, let's wait and see"... again. My stomach turns at the thought that these women could potentially leave my home tomorrow knowing full well that my baby has real, evident issues, but not enough to qualify for their help. How much worse does she have to get before she gets better?! My tea...