It All Boils Down to...

Sleep.

 

More specifically, the lack of it.

 

Some of you may have noticed that my frequency in posting has dwindled in the last couple of months. To a complete stand still over the last few weeks.

 

I have about a million and one things I wish to write about, but my brain simply refuses to function without the minimal requirement of sleep. And that, up until the last couple of weeks, was not something that I was attaining.

 

Not.

 

Even.

 

Close.

 

Yes, after weeks of work to get Kit used to sleeping in her bed for large portions of the night, we had finally all been settling down and snoozing happily (mostly) in our own places.

 

Then her molars started coming in. And are still coming.

 

It took over two weeks of her waking nearly every twenty minutes (on the worst nights), and being squirmy and restless when she was asleep, and wanting to nurse (pacify) from the moment I lay down to the hour she finally awoke for the day, before I finally put it all together. And sure enough, when I checked, there were two angry white knots at the back of her lower jaw. Poor baby.

 

By this time we had moved back to the couch, because only she is comfortable when she is in bed with us. Victor and I wake sore and grumpy. Well, we are both sore, but I get very grumpy. Not a fun way to start the day. Plus I have found that she and I simply both sleep better at those times when she simply must be held, if we are on the couch. I can cuddle her at an angle that doesn't make me ache for days, and she gets squished just right between me and the couch pillow. Usually.

 

Anyhooo...it was sapping more and more of my already limited energy. Then we got hit with that nasty stomach bug. I pretty much just ceased almost all functioning. My brain and body were maxed out. I was a scatter-brained, emotional wreck.

 

It's no wonder that sleep deprivation is used as torture. That is very nearly what it felt like.

 

I was at the point that I was actually staying awake all night on purpose to avoid being awoken over and over and over. Something seriously had to change.

 

Victor and I discussed options. And since Kit had a couple very intense panic attacks the few times she had awoken in our bedroom with the door shut and me absent, even with Daddy right there, that wasn't going to work. So Victor suggested him sleeping in the living room with her and me sleeping in the bedroom.

This seemed much more possible. She was already used to falling asleep with him in the living room. And there have been many times when she will wake, orient herself, and then go back to sleep, still on his lap. So we thought that waking up on the couch and having Daddy there probably would be ok after a little while too.

 

We were right. She cried herself back to sleep several times the first night, but not panicky, just tired and missing Mommy. Then each night got a little better. To the point that she is only waking once or twice, and can easily be put back in her place after drifting back off, and no more tears.

 

We had company on and off for several weeks, during which I slept on the couch with her while the air matress was being used by our varoius guests. But things have settled back down, and Daddy is back on the baby night shift.

 

We think that another couple of weeks and the two of them, hopefully, can move into the bedroom again. I'll move to the couch until she seems settled into her routine, then I'll move back into the bedroom again too. Then we'll all be back where we belong. Again. Hopefully, for a very long time!

 

It took about five nights before I finally started sleeping through the night again. And insomnia still suffers me here and again. But for the most part, I'm doing much better. I can put words and sentences together again. And I can plan father ahead than a single afternoon once more.

 

Neither Victor or I are in love with the current arrangement, but we are confident that it is temporary. Even if it becomes occasionally necessary to revisit it from time to time.

 

Whomever came up with the phrase "sleeping like a baby", obviously had NO children.