Word of the Week: Sewn

It may seem odd to choose that word to describe this past week, but it has several meanings for me.

The fact that I have been piecing together eight of the ten blankets that I am behind in making for new (and some not so new, more like 1 1/2 already) babies is obviously the literal application of the word for this week. But those blankets and the thread that binds them together also hold illustrative value for me this week.

The reason I am so far behind in making them is because the tapestry of our life ran into some huge snags and snarls around the time several of these new babies were greeting the world.

All my energies, all my attention, all my everything was being poured into surviving the last two plus years. So pulling out the sewing machine was not even on the checklist.

Autism has a not-so-funny way of doing that. Of pushing to the fore, even when things are going smoothly. It's like being left-handed, in that one always is. A lefty can learn to do just about anything with the right hand. Many of these tasks may take much more effort and concentration though, even proving to be very difficult if not impossible, and there are always things that will be exceptionally easier and more comfortable when done in harmony with one's natural tendency.  One simply cannot take a day off from being autistic either. My children and father-in-law are no exceptions to this. Naturally, that presents unique challenges. Often.

Before we had backup by way of an amazing Occupational Therapist, in fact even before we had the key of an official diagnosis, we were consumed by the overwhelming and competing needs of several individuals who are at times highly driven by tendencies that are part of being autistic. Most intense were Kit's needs, which were engulfing and exhausting much of the time.

This was hard to navigate all on our own, but I want to carefully emphasize that I do not view autism as an enemy. I could never view any part of my children as an enemy, and autism is no different. While having a diagnosis has been a key that has opened up a few doors to helping us help our children find balance and excel, it is important to note that they are people, above all else. And our job is to help them feel loved, accepted, intelligent, and capable. To see the fabric they are made of and to love it.

It felt for a while that we were being over-stretched. Our seams were certainly being tested. And still are at times. And we have gotten a few rips and stains along the way as well, but we are working on reinforcing, putting things back together, and learning to view them as places where we learned something, overcame an obstacle, or survived a storm.

Families are like patchwork quilts. Each of us is a piece. With our own colors, textures, and stories. Each new addition makes the pattern richer and warmer. Sometimes it takes a while to find where each piece fits just right. Sometimes a piece gets worn or torn.

But we love it, the whole miraculous work of art.

Because we are a family.

Sewn together by love.

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