Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Royaly Flushed

I'm trapped in the bathroom.

Trapped because if I open the door and go out, then Kit will start wailing all over again. I now have to wait until I get the all clear from Victor. That means she's asleep and I am permitted to move about my own home freely.

It's 1:30 am and I'm stuck in our freezing bathroom with no heat because the only way for my baby to fall asleep with someone else is for me to be completely out of sight and hearing range.


I've been trying to put Kit to sleep for over an hour now. She's completely exhausted, her eyes red rimed and heavy. But something is keeping her awake. She has some kind of unfulfilled need that we haven't met that is not allowing her brain to shut down and let sleep take over.

She kept nursing then popping up like her body had a spring in it. When I'd try to talk to her calmly or help her lay down she would throw her head and body back. Right into the back of the couch which is squared off since the pillow is moved so we can sleep there. Then she would cry, poor baby, because her head hurts. After the hurt passed she just couldn't stop moving, whining, screeching, fussing, getting mad, pinching.

We are all sooooo tired! Daddy finally came and took her to sit with her on the recliner. She'll go to sleep for him there, but only with me out of the room. So I retreat to the bathroom to brush my teeth and take my contacts out. But she is really wound up tonight, the angry, and sometimes very loud wailing continues for an extra inning tonight.

Meanwhile...in the bathroom, freezing!

I feel helpless when she gets like that. I don't feel like I'm equipped with enough knowledge to know how to best help her. Did she get over stimulated? Under? Should I have spun her before trying to nurse? Did she not get enough heavy work or deep pressure to satisfy her hungry little brain? Should I have fought through my tiredness and given her a bath with a good firm sponge rub down?

Sleep salvation sponge?
I don't know yet what all her signs and signals are. If she's sending them, I have no dependable way to know if I'm deciphering them correctly. And sometimes, I'm just tired, and I just want my baby to go to sleep instead of climbing and pulling out books and blankets and toys and trying to reprogram our phones. But I don't always clearly see. Like that tonight, a bath was clearly needed. I didn't see it until she was already in meltdown.

All's quiet in the other room now. In a minute I'll ask if it's okay for me to come out. Vic may not answer though because he probably already fell asleep too. So now it's just me, wide awake now, to contemplate and commiserate.    

Sweet dreams everyone.

1 comment:

  1. Creative titles to the stories. I enjoyed this post.