Skip to main content

Step by Step

A year ago today, I nervously hit the publish button for the first time. I don't know if my writing here has helped anyone else out there, but being able to organize the events of the past year and sharing them here has helped me. At the very least, I hope that some of you out there have been able to glimpse into our chaos from time to time and maybe feel like you're not the only ones!

I honestly did not expect things to be this hard this year. I expected lots of challenges. But a year ago, I felt invigorated, ready to work for my children and my family. I still work. Very hard for them. But the events and stresses of this year truly have drained me of every sort of energy. I feel like my fire has snuffed to a barely glowing ember. It's still there, but it's harder to get it sparking again.

It has been literally an avalanche of stress. With the hits getting heavier and harder as the year progressed, and my ability to block the punches, weaker and weaker. Yet, life presses on. The sun rises, my children wake up, there is still meals to be made and laundry to be washed. There is no rest. No vacation from life simply because you are in way over your head, or because your heart has been mashed and kicked and broken. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I did not foresee being where we are a year ago. I really did think things would be brighter, running smoother, with a lot more knowledge and help for my children's challenges. Their challenges seemed so obvious to me since I was here in the trenches with them everyday, and I thought others would be better able to see them too. But that hasn't always been the case. And with little exception we are very nearly as much on our own winding down this year as we were last. Well, I do have A LOT more knowledge, but I still have several libraries worth to learn. And "professionally" I do have some help, some has been only marginally helpful, some might have actually caused more problems than it solved, but some has really been insightful and helped provide a much clearer direction.

One of the most important lessons I've learned is that while there are many professionals who can at times provide answers and ideas, we will always know our children, their abilities, their strengths and weaknesses best. Outside input is very valuable, but we as their parents have to decide the best way to use this input to best help our children grow and continue to develop.

One of the best resources I have found is other parents with similar struggles. I think we learn more form each other in general than we do from all the various professionals who see our kids on only an occasional basis. And the professionals who really care have an enormous impact on far more than just the children they personally work with. One great tip to one family can make a huge difference for dozens, or even hundreds, when that family shares what they have learned.  So please keep sharing!

I do not know where I will find our family a year from now. Wherever it is, it's guaranteed to be an interesting journey. I hope I have learned enough lessons from this year to help us continue to navigate the next. And the truth is I still think things are going to be brighter, running smoother, and that I will gain even more knowledge and help for my children's challenges. For all of ours, really.

I am a realist, I see and expect challenges. But I am also an optimist, I can keep on trying to find the bright spots of each day and be thankful for them! Even now in one of the darkest times of our whole lives, we get warmed by rays of sunshine. Rays that keep emanating from the smiles and eyes and hugs of all the little people that I love so much it hurts.

Their sunshine through my tears keeps on making rainbows. And rainbows represent promise. Promise that we are not in this alone.

I'm determined to hang onto the One who gives "power beyond what is normal". 2 Corinthians 4:7

Comments

  1. Me and my family have benefited from your blog entries, the positive outlook you give and for the knowledge you have passed on. Rare is a parent who cares so much for their children and that devotes that much energy, love and passion to help them grow and navigate as you do and have.
    Keep your head up and reach for those rays of sunshine as you always do.
    Good Job and Thks

    ReplyDelete
  2. Congratulations on a full year of reflection, articulation and sharing. The very act of keeping up with this blog provided structure and disciplined tools for sorting out life as it rushed headlong, and needed insight for yourself, family, and others. Communication is the life-blood of real growth and relationships. Putting words in writing also teaches us how better to choose words in speaking.

    I look nearly every day for a new post. Please keep up heart and courage. You are thought of with love at all times.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Le Petite Chef: Mud Pie

Here it is, as promised, Grace's Mud Pie recipe! She did all the work, I helped explain terms and measurements, stirred at the very end to make sure everything was evenly coated (at her request), and helped hold the pot. She let one of her friends spread the Nutella and add the "dirt" to one of the pies while she did the other.  This is a very kid friendly recipe, I highly recommend it for ages 8 and up! The original recipe is in the book The Cooking Book, by Jane Bull. But we modified it just a bit. Here are our supplies: 3/4 c butter 1 tbsp cocoa powder 1/2 c sugar 1 c graham cracker crumbs 1/2 c dried fruit 1 chocolate bar (we used Nutella spread instead) We added: Heath chocolate and toffee bits Black Sixletts (found in the party aisle) These are the original measurements, we doubled the recipe though. Step 1: Crush graham crackers. We used a gallon size zipper bag and a coffee mug (I don't own

Saying Goodbye

For the entire month of August, I just didn't let myself think about it beyond the facts. For the last two weeks, I just focused on anything else that took my mind off of it. Over the weekend I was busy getting things ready, so I was too busy to think about it. Tuesday came. Miss V came. It was a good visit, with laughing and smiling, and questions asked and answered, and Kit played with her, and smiled and made us laugh like usual. But it was different, and we felt it. I didn't let myself go there, because I didn't want to break down, not that it would have been the first time in front of her (nor the second, or third, or even fourth probably.)  And then it was time for her to go, and we took some pictures, and all the kids hugged her, and I held Kit on my shoulder on the steps so she could wave goodbye until Miss V is out of sight like she has every week for at least five months. And then we closed the door, and Kit went on with business as usual, beca

Preschool at Home! Chalkboard Painting

Here is another treasure from the backfiles. This started as an act of desperation on my part, I just needed her to be occupied so I could finish something, but it quickly became one of her favorite activities. If you have a chalkboard (we made ours on a half wall with chalkboard paint), all you need is a paintbrush, sponge, or washcloth, and a cup of water. Dip the brush in the water and have at it! Kit LOVES how the water turns the board black. So often, she will be at this so long that by the time she gets across the board, the first area she painted will be dry and a fresh pallet once again. You can get creative with the things you use as paintbrushes, but she has been completely happy with our basic art brushes from Walmart. I love watching her do this.