Me: Ewww! What is that white thing on the plant?
Zak: It's a tissue.
Victor: (sarcastically teasing) Yeah, Mommy, of course it's a tissue!
What I said: Well then, get another tissue and throw it (the one on the plant) away.
What they heard: Well then, get another tissue and throw it (the new tissue) away. (As in instead of the one on the plant)
Zak: Uh...okay?? You want me to get another tissue and throw it away?
Victor: (knowing what I meant, but only after first thinking exactly what Zak was still thinking, and still in a sassy mood) Well, of course! Because it makes perfect sense to get another tissue and throw it away, because nobody wants to throw away the mystery tissue on the plant!
Me: Right, sorry, I forgot I live in literal land. Please use another tissue to pick up the tissue already on the plant, so that you don't have to touch it with your fingers, and then throw them both away. Right? Right. Good. Thank you...This is why I'm insane.
I'm sure you noticed that there was no why and how about a tissue on the plant. Yeah. We don't even ask anymore. We really don't even want to know. Life here is...strange. But, never boring!