Friday, February 8, 2013

Not-so-Great Expectations

I don't know how many times a day I think 'what's wrong with me, why can't I just buckle down and keep up with things?'

But you know what?

I just can't. I can't and neither can my kids.

Maybe it's because I have three still very young kids. Maybe it's because two of them are sensory seekers who have to touch and experience everything and are very easily distracted. Maybe it's because we homeschool so we are always together, all the time, most of it at home. Maybe I just really don't work at it as hard as other moms. I really don't have an exact answer.

Some days the big kids can focus, and smoothly work through their tasks without constant reminders. But a lot of days, they can't, and it's incredibly frustrating for me and for them. I haven't figured out yet what is working so well on the good days and how we can achieve a measure of that on the not so great ones.

What I do know is that I wouldn't ask my kids to do things that they are not capable of. But I expect that of myself everyday. And everyday I fail to meet those unrealistic expectations.

I hate it when my house is out of control, because I feel like it is a reflection of my mind and emotions.

I am NOT a neat-freak nor a germophobe. I leave things on the counters, table, and couch too. I don't always put my clothes where they are supposed to go. And, I don't always wash my dishes every day, much less after every meal. So, I certainly feel like we ALL contribute to our chaos. No one single person or age group is to blame, though some do make more messes more often than others.

I feel so much calmer when things are tidy though. But the reality is my kids have certain needs right now, and so does my father-in-law, and my husband, and so do I. So having the toys shoveled onto the play rug, and having piles of books and papers all over most surfaces, and having the bathroom be wiped instead of scrubbed and mopped is going to have to be enough right now. Because they helped, and worked hard and that's the best that they can do right now. It's the best WE can do, for now.


Kit wiping up the water she dumped on the floor.

Some days are great, and we get the house looking beautiful! Others we just weather the storm, and go to sleep without washing the dishes.
Maybe there is something wrong with me. But there is also a lot right with me and my messy, giggly family. And that is what I want my kids to grow up feeling. That whatever challenges they may have, there is a whole lot more to them that's right.
Of course I also want them to know how to properly sweep, and scrub a bathtub, and eventually change sheets on their own, so we continue to try, doing what we CAN everyday. 

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there! U seem like a great mom to me. You care a lot for them! Which is proved in your loving educated expressions through the extensive research you've done. We all have highs and lows but a loving mom is always a loving mom. You ARE a loving mom and your kids know it.
    Enjoyed the pictures of the mess, makes me feel like my home is normal. :-)